Recovery after a forced resignation – I’ve got your back !

I felt so frustrated for her. She walked through the door and the tears were already starting to well up . She looked pale and vulnerable.

Marley had been forced to resign from her job at a big tech company 4 weeks ago. She was crestfallen. she had loved the job and felt that her career trajectory was in industrial strength mode. It was everything she had visualized as that 20 year old , just out of college .  She felt her skill set was part of her DNA anow embedded in  her joy passion and purpose. It what we all aspire to right ? Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in full flight and downloading like a demon. Tick Tick .

 

It appeared from Marley’s perspective ( the most important one ) that there had been a waging war to upend her by  a tribe of mean girls , starting with the Queen Bee who  somewhere along the line  had her in their line of fire. It escalated with allegations of misconduct from which there seemed  no way back. The allegations were substantiated on what she felt were a quick sand of opinions  rather than evidence .

 

 

 

 

Marely felt completely floored and her confidence was shot.  Her amygdala in hypervigilance , she went on to her new job questioning  every single interaction , every comment she made , every look she gave , every gesture. At night she would ruminate on her day , processing her interactions like a nutri-bullet  not once but over and over again. Her sleep was minimal and her anxiety through the roof. What was happening to Marley ? Would she ever get back her joie de vivre , her sheer love of her work and her ability to be emotionally safe in the work place

I knew that we had some processing to do. I listened intently to her story and gave het the space and safety to be able to express the pent up feelings and process the emotions  she was experiencing. Talking it through was in of itself a type of cantharis . I listened intently , gave her space in silences and allowed her to feel heard , validated, and  seen… really seen.

Marley deserved to be believed and understood , something that had evaded her during this entire time of feeling witch-hunted and betrayed by those she believed she had a rapport and bond with . Was loyalty with these people ever real or an illusion ?  Marley did not know how to trust her self in her judgements in the future.

My specialty is person centered therapy. I aim to explore the persons own strengths and inner resources to heal themselves from difficult and challenging episodes in life . They just need a good facilitator and trust that their instincts although temporarily curtailed , will return with their confidence and self worth .

 

In person-centred therapy (developed by Carl Rogers), the emphasis is on empathy, unconditional positive regard, and congruence. The goal is to help the client reconnect with their inner sense of self-worth and autonomy, trusting in their own capacity for growth. The counsellor avoids directing or diagnosing, instead facilitating the client’s self-discovery through genuine, empathic curiosity.

Here are some of the questions , I used with Marley to get her back on track .

 

🌱 Creating Space for the Client’s Experience

1. Would you like to share what it’s been like for you since leaving your job?
2. What feelings come up for you as you think about that experience now?
3. How has this experience affected how you see yourself, or how you feel about yourself?

🪞 Encouraging Self-Reflection and Inner Awareness

1. What do you notice about the way you speak to yourself these days?
2. How do you experience your own worth when you’re not connected to your role at work?
3. Are there moments, even small ones, where you’ve felt grounded in yourself since then?

🌤️ Holding Strengths and Positive Self-Regard

1. When you think back to your time at work, what moments stand out where you felt most like yourself?
2. What qualities in you helped you through challenging times before?
3. What do you appreciate about yourself, even if it’s just a small thing right now?

🌷 Supporting Self-Compassion and Reconnection

1. What would it be like to offer yourself a little more kindness or acceptance right now?
2. Are there parts of you that are asking to be heard or understood?
3. What helps you feel most like you, even outside of your work identity?

🌈 Fostering Growth and Forward Movement

1. What does feeling confident and whole mean to you, in your own words?
2. If your self-worth was something already within you, how might you begin to reconnect with it?
3. What feels like one gentle step you could take toward that today?

Marley started to learn across time and sessions that empowering herself to give herself back what she lost in this situation . Marley realized that her recovery from this awful experience was contingent upon her seeing herself with kindness , compassion and care . To view herself a flawed person ( as we all are ) but  a good person , with great honest intentions and lots of innate abilities and qualities  . That her ability to keep a job is not connected to her real worth , self identity , and ability to love herself. Marley was enough in any given moment.

Marley had the courage to move forward armed with new insights and tools to keep herself safe if this kind of situation ever returns . Marley will not let those people define who she is or what she is capable of it . Marley will keep her power and power on !