It’s so easy for us to allow others to push our buttons . What we hope to do and be in conflict is often so different to how we operate when emotionally triggered .

My husband and I  had years where we would fight to be right rather than  find resolution to the problem. I used to jump in all the time barely before he had finished his sentence, with what I had to ” get him with “. The feeling that I had to trump him ( sorry for the pun lol ) was there all the time and I am sure a consequence of how I learned to resolve conflict from role models in my younger life. I can remember literally screeching some choice juicy expletives at the top of my voice to my ex-boyfriend, one summer, on Lake Eildon in our boat.  I had two “guests” in attendance . They looked up at me in horror as I rocked from side to side, my fist in the air pointing straight at at the helm.  I didn’t blink an eye lid at the time. To say the least that relationship went nowhere fast ( not even in a speedboat ) .  My marriage and sanity has survived much longer ! and this was due to learning some great tips about fighting fair along the way.

Some things that may be useful :
1 . Stick to the issue . If you start a stream of previous grievances from the past you will get kick back and defensiveness . Best to be clear and specific .
2. Fight fair . No degrading language or low blows . They tend to stick in the soul
3. Express your feelings with ” I ” statements . It shows you take responsibility for your feelings
4. Don’t yell . That’s intimidation and bullying .
5. Take time out if things get heated and you are in danger of going too far .
6. Acknowledge the others feelings even if you don’t agree with their view .
7. Acknowledge your part in the conflict equation . You will be surprised how disarming that becomes for others .
8. Come to a compromise . There is no perfect answer to an argument.
9. Don’t stonewall . If you can’t talk right now say so , and make it clear you will be back to discuss it when you have calmed down and cleared your head .
Conflict is part of being human the better the skills we develop the richer and more solid our relationships will be come .

What are your strategies to conflict resolution ?

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Whether it’s with your partner, family member, or someone else you care about, learning these skills changes everything. You don’t have to repeat old emotional patterns. You can rewrite how you show up in conflict — with calm, clarity, and compassion.

If you are looking for support in improving communication, building emotional safety, and reducing conflict in your relationship, I’m here to help.

As a Logan Counsellor and Shailer Park counsellor, I specialise in helping couples and individuals navigate emotional triggers, rebuild connection, and communicate in a healthier way. Many of my clients say that working with Counsellor Sian Pryce has helped them understand not just their partner — but themselves.

✨ You don’t have to do conflict alone.
✨ You don’t have to keep repeating the same argument.

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