Borderline Personality Disorder

Living with Borderline Personality Disorder is difficult . For those around them who love and care for them it can also be difficult . Here are some questions to support and facilitate change for someone living with BPD . These questions can help you and your loved one living with BPD explore what going on for them and help with insights into their own, behaviours, reactions and triggers . This can help with brainstorming ideas to help them and you navigate their thoughts emotions and feelings . It is possible to create a healthy and connected relationship through exploration and understanding . People living with BPD can and do have sustainable, rewarding  and happy relationships and you as their loved one can help them get there ! Best of luck !

 

 

 

1. Building Rapport & Trust

Since individuals with BPD often struggle with trust and fear of abandonment, establishing a safe and validating environment is crucial.

• “What do you wish people understood about you?”
• “What makes you feel safe in relationships?”
• “How do you feel about being here today?”

2. Exploring Emotional Regulation

People with BPD experience intense emotions. Helping them recognize and manage these feelings is key.

• “What emotions feel the hardest for you to handle?”
• “Can you describe a time when you felt overwhelmed? What did you do?”
• “How do you usually express anger or sadness?”
• “What helps you calm down when emotions feel out of control?”

3. Understanding Relationships & Attachment

BPD is often characterized by unstable relationships and fear of abandonment.

• “What patterns have you noticed in your relationships?”
• “When you feel someone pulling away, how do you typically respond?”
• “What makes you feel abandoned or rejected?”
• “What do you need in a relationship to feel secure?”

 

 

4. Identifying Coping Strategies

Encourage self-awareness about coping mechanisms, both helpful and harmful.

• “What are some ways you try to cope when you’re feeling distressed?”
• “Have you noticed any coping strategies that work well for you?”
• “Are there any unhealthy habits you’d like to change?”

5. Encouraging Self-Compassion

Many individuals with BPD struggle with self-worth and self-criticism.

• “What are some things you like about yourself?”
• “If a friend were in your situation, what would you say to comfort them?”
• “What would it look like if you were kind to yourself?”

6. Addressing Impulsivity & Self-Destructive Behaviors

Impulsivity is common in BPD, and asking about it in a nonjudgmental way can open up dialogue.

• “When you act on impulse, what’s going through your mind?”
• “Do you ever feel like your emotions control your actions?”
• “What happens right before you engage in self-destructive behaviors?”
• “What could help you pause in those moments?”

7. Helping Them Develop Future Goals

Focusing on hope and progress can empower them.

• “What kind of life do you want to build for yourself?”
• “What would change if you felt more in control of your emotions?”
• “What’s one small step you can take toward the life you want?”

If you or a loved one is navigating Borderline Personality Disorder in Logan or Shailer Park, counsellor Sian Pryce offers compassionate and structured support. Through personalised therapy sessions, Sian helps clients build emotional regulation skills, develop healthier coping strategies, and improve relationship dynamics. By creating a safe and nonjudgmental environment, she empowers clients to explore their emotions, understand their triggers, and take practical steps toward a more balanced and fulfilling life. Support is available to help you or your loved one manage BPD effectively and cultivate sustainable, rewarding relationships.