I’m sitting at home , my wife has left with the kids and gone to her Mums . The kids would not even acknowledge me when they left . Oliver , the youngest , looked at me , he hesitated , stared at me from the door frame . The look of pity and sheer anguish on his face almost dissolved me . He decided to say and do nothing and walked out the door quietly shutting it behind him.
My body is aching , I feel sick and miserable and defeated . Last night I had googled the long -term effects of cocaine abuse .
That list was now swirling around my head like a bunch of disease- ridden flies waiting to land on my marinated festering toxic body
- Blood clots leading to heart attack pulmonary embolism stroke and deep vein thrombosis Angina chest pain from tightening of the vessels Myocardial infarction the death of heart muscle from lack of oxygen related to poor blood flow permanently increased blood pressure Tachycardia Arrhythmia irregular heart rate.
This list was on a continuous loop. No commas no stops . All of this seemingly horrifying outcome did not come even close to the negativity and fear of the outcome I had just experienced. Losing the money , the house my nose , my integrity , my self-worth , my dignity , none of it comes very close to what I just witnessed . My family filled with disgust , despair and devastation leaving my sorry arse behind.
I’ve reached a seminal moment , there is no more time …
“This is it …there is no tomorrow , I am done” I say in barely a whisper to myself I reach for the phone ;can I call the number in front of me ? Yes I can. I take a deep visceral depth, and I say ,
“ Hello, my name is Mitchell .. I am a cocaine addict …”
Does Mitchell’s story sound familiar ? Are you at the point that Mitchell has reached ? If your answer is a resounding yes . My heart goes out to you….
Well done, you’ve acknowledged that you have a problem. This is a huge step because unless you can be honest with yourself you can’t be honest with your life or with others . Its hard to come to that conclusion , but when you do and you know that you really want to change it’s the first weight off your shoulder . There may be more weights but at least you have started with one right ? Its better than where you were yesterday .
Addiction is like a curse that sits around your body and soul and is always in your ear telling you to everything contrary to what your inner conscience and that inner child wants from you .
Pat yourself on the back you have reached your contemplation stage !
Here are the 5 stages of change ,
- Precontemplation (Not yet acknowledging that there is a problem behaviour that needs to be changed)
- Contemplation (Acknowledging that there is a problem but not yet ready, sure of wanting, or lacks confidence to make a change)
- Preparation/Determination (Getting ready to change)
- Action/Willpower (Changing behaviour)
- Maintenance (Maintaining the behaviour change)
Acknowledging your addiction is a powerful first step toward recovery. Dealing with cocaine addiction involves a combination of physical, emotional, and psychological support. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you start:
- Seek Professional Help
- Reach Out to a Doctor or Therapist: A healthcare professional can assess your condition and recommend treatment options.
- Consider Rehab: Residential or outpatient rehabilitation programs provide structured support.
- Medication: In some cases, medications can help manage withdrawal symptoms and reduce cravings.
- Build a Support Network
- Talk to Loved Ones: Share your struggles with people you trust. Their understanding and encouragement can make a difference.
- Join Support Groups: Groups like Narcotics Anonymous (NA) offer community and accountability.
- Develop a Plan for Withdrawal
- Cocaine withdrawal can be intense. Professional detox programs can help manage symptoms like fatigue, depression, and cravings.
- Stay hydrated, eat a balanced diet, and focus on getting adequate sleep.
- Address Underlying Issues
- Addiction often stems from underlying emotional pain, trauma, or mental health issues. Therapy (e.g., Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) can help address these root causes.
- Identify situations, people, or environments that lead to drug use and create strategies to avoid or cope with them.
- Exercise: Physical activity releases endorphins, boosting mood and reducing cravings.
- Mindfulness and Meditation: Practices like yoga or meditation can help manage stress and improve emotional regulation.
- Recovery is a process. Celebrate small victories, like a day, week, or month of sobriety.
- Some treatments involve medications that reduce cravings or block the effects of cocaine. Consult a healthcare provider for advice.
- Explore Resources
- Hotlines: Call a drug addiction hotline for immediate support.
- Online Resources: Look for websites and forums focused on addiction recovery.
- Be Patient with Yourself
- Recovery is not linear. Relapses can happen, but they don’t mean failure. Learn from them and keep moving forward.
Congratulations …you have taken your first step, the road won’t be easy , but you have made a start and that is something !
Stay safe and be proud of yourself for reaching out for help .