“My head feels like a merry-go-round that I just cant get off !”
I aske some of my clients to text me when their thoughts were ” busy” and she was feeling anxious. I had no idea at that stage early in my career how utterly debilitating our own thoughts can be when they do not serve us well. I’ve had my share of negative thinking about little did I understand the depth and breadth of the industrial strength dumping that can go on in ones brain when we suffer with a mental health condition. Here is a combined paraphrasing of the thoughts that some of my anxious clients have encountered .
” I don’t know what I am or what I think . I have horrible thoughts I worry that I don’t feel guilty enough .I feel disconnected from myself .Acting like I have anxiety, but not actually those things . I am ruined . I feel guilty . I don’t even know what I don’t know. I feel like I’m really immature and boy crazy. I’m also worried that I might be using him……..I feel like I’m doing things for male attention , I feel guilty and I nit pick …… I think I’m upsetting him. I hate what I said and feel that I’m a monster . I’m ashamed of my reactions. I get jealous about who he is talking to, I look in the mirror and I think I’m ugly, I don’t like my legs or my bum , my boobs are too small . I compare myself every day ……” and so it goes on !
When I read these types of things my heart goes out to people with anxiety, its like being on this mental treadmill that you just can’t get off ! The energy expended must be exhausting and the emotional pain very real. These are strong beautiful young people men and women who fail to see the unique person looking at them in the mirror . What a waste of living ! Of the amazing person that they are.
Mental Illness is not an easy thing to carry and live with every day . It strips us of the ability to get on with our day and create the life we want to lead.
What strategies can you give yourself to try to alleviate some of these negative thoughts that fire like arrows to your soul and leave you miserable and unmotivated ?
THE FIRST THING is to acknowledge that its not you , its your illness or your anxiety talking and its lying to you. Yes , your anxious brain is needed in times of danger to keep you thinking fast and on your feet but when you are not in danger it can still go off , thinking that you are in crisis . Your alarm system is faulty, it feels a small breeze, and thinks its a home invasion . So what to do ?
Okay so try some of these :
Its not reality its anxiety and it will pass .
Shout ” STOP ” to the internalised messaging that heightens the anxiety .
Recognize that what you are feeling now is anxiety and talk yourself through it like you were your own coach .
Embrace absolute truths – ” I will get through this “.
Name your sensations and feelings . “This is nervousness and stress , its not me and its not gonna last ”
Breathe ! In for 3 hold for 3 and out for 3 . Count down from 10 -1 .
Use the ” file it ” technique . Close your eyes imagine a table with file folders and a filing cabinet . Imagine picking up each file and writing down the name of a thought that is racing through your mind. Once the name is on the file , take a moment to acknowledge the thought and how important it is to you and then you file it away . Repeat tis process with every thought that pops into your head until you start to feel calmer.
Take some time to identify and name your triggers , examine them and consciously put them aside with a deadline to tackle them later one at a time when its a better time.
Go for a run or exercise !
Visualise your favourite funny moments
Watch a funny movie or tv show or you tube.
Distract yourself – something pleasurable or relaxing. A game , a walk , swimming , cooking , painting, drawing , reading, hot bath with bubbles and music . Cold shower, petting animals , hold ice !
Do mindfulness meditation – plenty of apps on google . Smiling Mind is a great one !
Keep a diary – monitor your thoughts and emotions to track how you get to your anxious state. Its a great way to be a detective about how you end up feeling anxious or depressed.
Write a gratitude list every day to remind yourself of all that you have to be grateful for .
Create a drawn or pasted vison board.
Let go of all that you cannot control and concentrate on things that you can control.
Be kind to yourself, be your own best friend. Tell yourself all the things you would say to your best friend if he was anxious.
Read one positive affirmation every day to boost your mood.
Get busy, join a club , volunteer group, or do something for charity or the environment . Sometimes getting out of your own head is a great idea.
Tell your best friend or a close family member .
See a counsellor or a psychologist and if you feeling you are drowning in symptoms then see your GP about medication to support you in your wellbeing journey .
Best of luck , you’ve got this !