24 Oct 2017

Video-gaming and well-being -yes the two can go together !

Mindful video gaming to reconnect teens  with their real world.    Most parents have reservation sand mixed feelings about video games and their kids. I am a relaxed Mum, but even I have had visions of ending up on Dr Phil, telling the whole world my 18-year-old son pees in an empty coke bottle, so he doesn’t have to leave his 5-hour gaming marathon. The production crew would then show shots of his filthy sheets, stinky socks and two-day old pizza box. Dr Phil would look at me disdainfully and say “How’s it working for ya? “EEK! We have read…

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13 Oct 2017

My teen is always messy -what can I do ?

  Are you frustrated with getting your teenager to do the basics in life without a debate on why you are wrong?  It’s one of the biggest battles there is with teens. Their mess! Do you get the eye rolling? The complaining? The door slamming? Do you get the hours of “stalling “when you ask them to clean up their room, the bathroom? empty the dishwasher? My daughter spent 3 days cleaning her room over the holidays because she said she “had to have breaks “as she sat there on her phone eating crackers. Then of course we blow our…

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09 Oct 2017

Get off that bloody computer kid ! Teen internet addiction

Is there another member of your family that gets more attention from your teen than either your husband or their siblings? Does this member have such a loving hold over your teen that they won’t even tear their eyes away from that member for the joy of a summer night time swim at the beach or a massive burger  with the family at a great restaurant? Yes, it’s that darn interloper wedging itself between you and your family peace and equilibrium – the internet. Its running riot through your home and your patience and causing you no end of wrangling,…

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05 Oct 2017

So, your son is withdrawn and won’t leave his room?

We know there is something wrong but they just won’t talk- to anyone. Many times, the first time we notice our teen is different is when they withdraw from us and their life. They seem to spend so much time in their room, watching YouTube or playing video games and rarely seem to be going out with friends or doing their usual hobbies.  They barely talk at dinner, and seem to be only momentarily engaged with family and friends. Or as I call it, the “‘needs to know’ basic mode “. Walking around with their “Do Not Disturb” sign activated.…

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29 Sep 2017

Sex and my teen…. the elephant in the room

  So, your 16-year-old daughter wants to have her boyfriend over for a sleepover? It can be doing difficult to navigate sexuality and intimacy with teens of this generation as this " hook up " mentality leaves us parents feeling that teens are far too gung ho and blaze about sex and that they don't give it the respect and boundary expectations that we may give it. We may have grown up with a very different sexual philosophy and this can be compounded if we have different religious and spiritual views to our teenager. I remember in the early 90s, a…

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29 Sep 2017

My teen won’t talk to me and sides with their other parent after our break-up.

My teen won’t talk to me and sides with their other parent after our break-up.     So, you feel you have done nothing wrong, yet your teen has created a story with you as the resident bad guy!  Are your ears burning? It is very hard when one or both parents involve the child in their agendas and it can be so detrimental to the child's emotional wellbeing and subsequent relationship with the alienated parent. It can make the estranged parent feel angry, hurt, stressed and pushed out. It can be a lonely frustrating place to find yourself. What…

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05 Sep 2017

Things I wish Mum had told me….

   Investing in resilience talk with your kids    We all can recognise gaps in our psychological nurturing as children, just as our parents recognise the gaps in theirs and, hopefully, breaking that chain of repetition becomes part of our new parenting permutation. We never fully get there. Sometimes  we slip back into the behaviours and learnt responses as well as old modes of thinking and core beliefs, that were etched in our childhood psyche sometimes subversively and covertly- Hijacking our equilibrium and our sense of well-being. We spend the rest of our lives struggling with the waves of cyclical doubt…

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09 Aug 2017

My teen disrespects me and has an answer for bloody everything !

What do you do when you have a loving but disrespectful teen ?  It seems to go with the territory of having this wonderful, feisty, caring, smart, and dynamic child doesn't it ?  She will argue until she is blue in the face and will NEVER back down . They can be right fighters at that age because they have not learnt that negotiation , compromise and owning your part in the problem is part of being an adult and  the best way to navigate successful relations . Sounds familiar ? Many teens are like this and grow out of it…

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09 Aug 2017

My teen has depression and self harms- now what can I do ?

My Teen has diagnosed Depression and self harms, I know I need to support her but how best can I do that as her parent ? When your teen is in the throes of depression, parents can feel helpless and sometimes frustrated that they cannot “fix” the way their child feels. I remember when my brother become sick all my Mum wanted to do was to take it on for him. Wishing that she could be sick instead of him as she said, I could deal with it better “. It broke my heart. I didn’t quite understand what this…

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29 Jul 2017

My teen’s boyfriend is a bad ass !

What can you do if your teen has a boyfriend you don’t like? It can be such a source of tension between you and your teen, especially if they are keen on them. Parents have very good radar when it comes to the type of characters that come into their kid’s lives to influence them. Subtle signs that things are not quite right seem to filter through even when you are not directly looking or probing them.  Your daughter seems a bit anxious or irritable, after talking to him a bit too often, she changes the conversation if you mention…

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