17 Mar 2020

The Mother Wound: How I can help to heal myself

The Mother Wound: Ways to heal yourself.   How do I escape my toxic mother now I am an adult? Growing up with a mother who wasn’t really a mother can be a difficult bag to carry once you become an adult and a mother yourself. It is often then that you realise what you should have experienced and the gaps in your psycho-emotional map can become ever more glaringly obvious as you expand your parenting knowledge and love and nurture your own children. I have met very wonderful mums who vowed to never do what their mothers did to…

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31 Jan 2018

Help I think my kid is smoking dope. What do I do!

  So, you just found out your kid might be smoking dope? Oh boy, this can be a real dousy. Its one of our worst fears as parents isn't it ? Immediately, we start seeing them sprawled out in some gutter with a needle in their arm 10 years down the track. We jump to all sorts of dire conclusions. It can also just be a real shock when your teen does something that you think is so different to who you thought they were. It can really throw you and make you wonder how good a parent you really…

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23 Jan 2018

Parents who love to much. How do I survive when my child is mentally ill ?

  “We have to be a person before we are a parent, or we cannot even be a parent “.    We love our kids to death, don’t we? But when they have issues we might as well be experiencing it alongside them. We feel every slight, every pain they have as if it was ours, whether it is physical or emotional, it doesn’t matter we feel it in our bones, our soul as  well as our heart . Someone once said to me that being a parent was like carrying your heart outside of your body. I remember when…

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15 Jan 2018

I am going to Family Mediation , how can I prepare ?

  Family mediation can be a very daunting thought . Family units bring with them a whole history of values , behaviours, beliefs,  perspectives, personalities  and ways of interrelating which have been established and maintained for many years. From the moment we come into a family we are  moulded, and we help to mould and shift expectations of each other, starting with the messages we get from our parents, how they relate to each other and how they respond to us as we grow. American psychiatrist Murray Bowen began to develop his family systems theory in the mid-1950s while working…

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05 Jan 2018

My teen is stressing about a career pathway, what should I say ?

  I had no idea what I wanted to do when I  was in year 11. My Mum kept asking me and I kept fobbing her off as I  really didn't know and even discussing it made me feel anxious. I realise now that probably thinking it through a little more often might have helped, but that that time career counsellors at school were relatively untrained and I the one I eventually saw at University said " Oh you are doing an Arts degree, you will be fine " Yep- that is  EXACTLY what he said ! I have a…

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30 Dec 2017

My kid has social anxiety, what can I do ?

One of the hardest things to do when you child is suffering emotionally is to stay calm and find the energy, pace and fortitude to deal with their situation. It can be exhausting as a parent to continually be monitoring your child's emotional regulation as well as trying your best to keep a handle on your own ! Social anxiety is a very real disorder which involves a phobia to being in social situations as they feel very self-conscious being around crowds or groups of people. Symptoms may include extreme shyness, stomach ache, fast heart rate, dizziness, and crying, having…

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05 Dec 2017

Rewards and punishments and your teen

  My daughter said to me a while back, " Mum do you realise  that rewarding us , for doing the right thing is much more of a motivator than punishment for not ?  A light bulb went off for me . Gee she is her mother's daughter that one !  I had a think about his and I  thought about the practical application of this . To be honest my daughter is a clever bugger and there is usually an angle.  Is she right ? Well I certainly wont be giving out cash every time she loads the dishwasher…

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04 Dec 2017

Abuse must never be over shadowed by talent.

  We have heard a lot lately about  sexual harassment  and sexual misconduct in  the workplace, lately. The whole  status and reputation down fall of Harvey Weinstein , has helped to shift our consciousness around  power and status in the work force.  Once upon a time it was well known that some men in high power positions in all manner of big corporations felt entitled to  feel their way through their staff . People would laugh about the " casting couch" and it was not a very well kept secret that  some men at work needed to be "avoided" .…

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29 Nov 2017

What is CBT ? Can it really help me ?

I have this friend, well she's a "frenemy " really. He name is Debbie Downer and she has a habit of jumping into my thoughts and scattering my good feelings like cards into the ether.  I can be ok at 10 am, looking forward to the day, motivated and excited about finding a new job.  By 5pm I am ready to sob into my soup. What happened to my brain between  10am and 5pm ?  Well, my day started out well, then I  got a call to say , I didn't get the job. Hummm... me thinks why not ? …

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26 Nov 2017

Counselling in your own home .Are home visits right for you ?

Some people may  not like the thought of  strangers entering their homes to counsel them but for some people , leaving the home can be a huge dilemma especially if they are suffering acutely or chronically from anxiety, depression, PTSD and social phobias. There are many reasons you may prefer a home visit. Perhaps you don't drive, feel overwhelmed when in open spaces, feel unsafe when you are in unfamiliar closed spaces  or the thought of getting out there is just too overwhelming at the moment?  It can be a huge effort to get dressed and ready to face the…

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